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Thursday 23 April 2020

Writing W1

This week for writing we had to fix up two sentences from our biography by putting more complex punctuation in our work. My bio was about Peter Jackson. Here's my work.

Before 
Peter went to Kapiti College a state run secondary  school but dropped out at the age of 16 so that he could get a job to finance his film hobby. 
Peter went big after Bad Taste in 1989 Bad taste was a sifi 1 hour and 32 minute movie. Bad Taste was made on a low budget of 11 thousand us dollars it is Jackson's first feature film.

After
Peter went to Kapiti College, a state-run secondary school. He dropped out at the age of 16 so that he could get a job to finance his film hobby. 
In 1989, Peter went big after Bad Taste. Bad taste was a sifi 1 hour and 32 minute movie. 
Bad Taste was made on a low budget of 11 thousand  US dollars, it was Jackson's first feature film.
What I changed 
I put a comma after collage.

I put a hyphen in between state and run.
I put in 1989, in front of, peter went big after bad taste and I put a comma in front of 1989.

I put a full stop after the first bad taste to make the the sentence shorter.

I also made US with a capital because it's a name of a place.


Do you know who Peter Jackson is?

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